The Satya Method: Creating Spiritual Partnerships With Our Children

It is 8:30 Pm on a school night and I am just now preparing dinner for my two boys, ages 6 & 14. It has been a long day, but a typical one in the life of a single working mom. I have had to “change hats” from care-taker to disciplinarian, from business woman to domestic Goddess, from crisis counselor to loving girlfriend all in one day and that’s not even mentioning the sub-categories of chauffeur, maid, cook, accountant, and PTA mom..

When I wake up each morning I often pray that I will make the right choices for myself and my children that will support all of our growth. Of course, praying only works up until a certain point. It has to be backed up with a great deal of courage and determination to make it all work. It is easier on some days more than others and then there are those days where the boys are not getting along, toys are being thrown, voices are elevated, the cat has just thrown up on the rug and you have to have the draft of your new article into your editor by 5:00 PM.. I know, I know….God never said it was going to be easy.

So, what’s an enlightened mom, trying to promote and encourage conscious living in her home, to do? I may think of myself as Wonder Woman, but I do not have “magic wristbands” to deflect life’s bullets nor “a truth lasso” to give me all the answers. Most of what I have learned is through trial and error and, of course, my insatiable need to seek out the most highly evolved parenting tips on the planet. I take my role as spiritual director of the family very seriously. The questions I ask myself are questions every parent should ask themselves; how do I want my children to be in this world? How can I role model intrinsic values for them? What support systems are available and who can I rely on?

Children’s Meditation

One of the answers to these life questions came to me in the form of Sarah Wood. Sarah is one of the people promoting and teaching a new paradigm for creating relationships with children that are based on inner growth and compassion. She is a mother, former school teacher, and founder of The Indigo Network. She currently teaches meditation to children and trains adults to teach meditation to children. Her innovative programs are on the cutting edge and one of the first of its kind in the United States. She certifies Child Meditation Facilitators through the Indigo Network and holds workshops throughout the country.

I found Sarah through my good friend Lori Lite, who is also on the path to seeking solutions for elevating relationships between children and adults. Lori is the author of four children’s books on meditation and relaxation techniques and has just released her new CD Indigo Dreams. It was her experiences, in managing her son’s journey from a misdiagnosis of ADHD to complete wellness within a year, that lead her to write her books. It is she who led me on my own journey to become a certified facilitator for children’s meditation.

Both Lori and I attended Sarah’s workshop in Asheville, North Carolina. Sarah uses a unique approach to working with children, called the Satya method. It is a teaching method based on a partnership between the adult and child. It promotes an understanding that the teacher and the student are both a teacher and student. Not only are we mirroring our mental, spiritual, and emotional selves to the child, but the child is mirroring the same back at us. In essence it becomes a type of spiritual practice and experiential learning for adults.

Sarah immediately puts you at ease with her accessible way of teaching that doesn’t seem like “teaching” at all. It felt like she was participating with you and learning as you learn.

Her class is very interactive. We really got to experience ourselves as facilitator and student during a meditation exercise where we were called upon to make up a meditation on the spot. First we discussed our needs and certain issues that were up for us. We took turns facilitating a guided meditation tailored to each person. The framework of it was related to our favorite TV show or movie. My issue was keeping my house clean my meditation partner, Noah, created a very funny insightful meditation based on my favorite sitcom, Friends. He designed it so I could visualize all my friends coming over to help me clean my house and get it done with ease, fun, and joy. It really helped me to shift how I felt about house cleaning.

Although the principles taught in Sarah’s class and in her book are of a meditative nature it is not introduced to children as “meditation” The concept of traditional meditation is a rather big idea for children to grasp. Sarah’s teachings are co-active, operating from a partnership of teaching and learning instead of the adult lecturing the student on what to do. The way she explains meditation to children is simply stated, “something we do in our heads so we feel better later,” or “when we sit very still, usually with our eyes closed and think about something on purpose.”

In her new book, Children, Meditation, and Growth: Teaching Meditation to Children Using The Satya Method, there is a chapter devoted to meditations and activities that is very user-friendly. Because each personal experience is unique, Sarah gives many examples that have a wide variety of uses. There is the “Sleepy Cloud” meditation for children who need a little help getting to sleep. There are also meditations for getting to the root of their fears and anxieties and meditations for calming and releasing stress. The book also includes extensive information on belief systems, the labeling of children, different learning styles, and how to be a facilitator.

The Satya method

The Satya method is revolutionary in its approach to parenting and partnering with children. There are seven principles to the Satya method that are applicable whether you are a teacher using them within an educational school system, private classes, or a parent using them at home with your own kids. The word Satya translates several different ways, but basically it means real, genuine, honest, true character, and sincerity. Mohandas Gandhi used the word Satya to name his self-sufficiency movement, Satyagraha, which means “truth action.”

The reigning principle in the Satya method is principle number one, creating a Space for Growth Through Partnership. Within this principle it is important that the facilitator, which can be a teacher or a parent, understand the concept of “children as our mirrors.” I believe the entire world could benefit by understanding just how profound this concept really is. Children reflect back to us everything we are displaying the world; our love, our joy, our pain, our anger. They teach us and challenge us to grow and learn how to be our best.

Sarah explains this in her book; “Children reflect to us our inner world, who we are, who we want to be and who we do not want to be. If we become frustrated with a child, he might be mirroring to us a behavior we do not like in ourselves” By understanding this principle the facilitator will notice when the child is mirroring and shift the moment into a transformational learning and growing experience that both teacher and student benefit from, in other words; an authentic experience.

The Satya method is based on the facilitation of experiential learning. It also uses art, music, and writing to reinforce ideas. Traditional teaching often involves a teacher telling the students what material is going to be covered and then testing them on it later. The difference is that The Satya Method involves a personal experience that is discussed afterwards. Typically there is a theme for the class, a fun group activity, a guided visualization/meditation, a period of reflection, and then circle time for questions, answers, and art work. The children love sharing what they “saw” during their meditation and they especially love drawing the images that came to them.

The act of creating an art piece from memory helps to keep the total experience of it in their consciousness. It also reinforces the learning that is being facilitated. Some children are inclined to sing, dance or do karate moves. All creative expressions are encouraged as it empowers the child to be the master of his experience.

The Sayta Method in Practice

When using The Satya Method, there is high awareness and authentic interaction taking place. For example; I was teaching one of my children’s meditation classes and had just finished The Tree Meditation, which helps children release stress, anger, & sadness. We were all sitting in a circle and I went around the circle and began asking questions: How do you feel? Do you feel any different? What kind of tree did you have? The children were all anxious to share, especially one child named Jonathon. He continually interrupted the other children while they were speaking and his answer to every question was “I don’t know.” I acknowledged to him that it was okay not to know and would he please keep his voice quiet while the other children gave their answers. He agreed, but then on the next question and the next question after that he interrupted again and very loudly said “I don’t know.”

He thought this was all very funny, but I was concerned because I felt he had not listened to me. I considered sending him into time out, but quickly remembered I had to set an example of mirroring that would create a partnership with him instead of distancing our relationship by separating him from the group.

What I did next was to look directly at him in a way that let him know that I was now in communion with him. I used a gentle, but slightly concerned voice; because I am a gentle person and I was slightly concerned. I said, “Jonathon. I am wondering why you are choosing to interrupt the other children while they are speaking?” His answer to this was, “I don’t know.” I went on to say that I accepted the fact that sometimes we don’t know the answers to questions, but sometimes we do and there are other children in the group who would like to give their answers without being interrupted. I then asked if he understood what I was telling him and he said yes.

In that moment I felt we had authentically moved into a partnership. I had focused all my attention on him in a heartfelt manner that let him know that I truly wanted us to understand each other. After this he sat very quiet and within minutes, when it was appropriate, he came up with a new answer for a question. I was very proud of him and thanked him for choosing another answer and for listening to me. He seemed delighted and as the session ended he raised his hand to answer the last question. “Yes, Jonathon?” I said. He got the biggest grin on his face, looked me right in the eye, and said “I don’t know.” At this point all I could do was laugh along with the rest of the class. His clever timing was very funny and we all understood Jonathon’s need to entertain!

In this situation Jonathon mirrored back to me my own need to be heard and to entertain with clever words. I realized after the class that I indeed had issues surrounding finding my voice and feeling like people weren’t listening to me. I also owned the fact that I sometimes liked to be the center of attention and make people laugh, perhaps even times when it was not appropriate. Jonathon’s seemingly disruptive behavior was just what I needed to reach a deeper insight within myself.

Educational Systems

This is just one example of how facilitators might use The Satya Method in their classrooms. Within Sarah’s book are more examples of how a parent or facilitator might benefit from applying these principles, however, the basic structure of the book is designed to be a foundational guideline for teaching meditation to children in all settings.

The Satya Method is not a model that is designed to stand on its own, but instead is created to be integrated into the facilitator’s present approach. Ideally, every educator out there can benefit from employing The Satya Method in their classroom, whether it is in public, private, or parochial school. The teaching method is more at a conscious level. Facilitators learn how to see their own qualities reflected back to them by their students. The principles help to inspire an authentic personal learning experience rather than forced learning. A child’s thought process, needs, and love of learning are encouraged and embraced

The innate knowledge and wisdom of children are often overlooked values in a world where educational systems reward the children who “perform” with high grades. There is extra pressure on them to compete at school, in sports, and extra-curricular activities. The needs of naturally intuitive and feeling-based children, sometimes identified as Indigo’s, are virtually ignored. In addition, a great many parents push their children to be “mini-mirrors” of themselves and live up to goals that support how their family is viewed within a community or social strata. The Sayta method hopes to teach parents and facilitators a different type of mirroring system.

Meditation at home

It is another day at my house. The children came home from school happy and healthy with good reports. Homework was done without complaints It is 7:00 in the evening and I am making my famous homemade spaghetti sauce, a recipe handed down from my great-grandmother. My two boys are seated at the kitchen table quietly building a Lego castle together. My fourteen year old is gently instructing my six year old how to make the turrets for the top of their fortress. Native American flute music plays in the back ground and I am enjoying the peace in my home. I tell my boys that dinner will be ready in about ten minutes and will they please put away the rest of the Lego and then wash up for dinner. They are involved in their project, but give me an “Okay, mom.”

Early we had talked about how arguing, throwing toys, and raising our voices at each other doesn’t feel too good. I shared with them that I get frustrated sometimes and need their help in keeping harmony in our home. I let them talk about their frustrations as well. As I listened to their points of view I could clearly see how their behaviors had been mirroring my own frustrations about being a single mom and getting it all right.

I did a short meditation with them, talked a little more, and came up with solutions together that we all agreed upon. After that we all drew pictures and made fun of my lack of artistic ability. I felt the connective bond between us and could see true understanding reflected back in their eyes. As we all sat down at the dinner table I looked at each of my beloved children. Tears of gratitude welled up inside of me. Maybe I do have a bit of Wonder Woman in me after all.