"Once a woman claims ownership of her own inner authority, she awakens her subtler senses and makes a quantum leap into grace,

"Once a woman claims ownership of her own inner authority, she awakens her subtler senses and makes a quantum leap into grace, the highest octave of the feminine."

- Mary Elizabeth Marlowe

Handbook for the Emerging Woman

Goddess Psychology: A Call for Inner-Balance

There is a Goddess, or perhaps Goddesses, inside of you waiting to be called forth. Every one of us has the ability to tap into their internal strength and access the true power of their divine feminine energy. The ancient Greeks knew all about this energy. In those days, Goddesses were venerated for their spiritually vital forces. Not only were they consorts to the gods, but they were worshiped and feared for their powerful influences upon human behavior, natural phenomena, and changes in psychological processes.

Aphrodite, now so devalued by society, was once considered an oracle of wisdom and truth. Men and women sought her counsel during troubling times. The fact that she was also skilled in the arts of love and beauty only made her a more desirable Goddess with whom to “consort.” Since that time and in all recorded history, we have seen the Goddess downgraded from her original position of glory. Centuries ago fear-based patriarchal standards were set by male dominated religions and with those standards came the fall of The Goddess. However, in the last few decades and especially since the onset of the feminist movement, hope has been restored to our planet. There now exists an era of women who own their grand Goddess energy and are not afraid to use it.

A few of years ago, I accidentally connected with my Goddess Energy. I was recently divorced and feeling rather aimless and uncertain of my future (don’t we all at some point?). Then, I picked up a life-changing book for $.25 at a local library book sale. The book was The Goddess Within, by Jennifer and Roger Woolger. Inside was a detailed personality quiz based on the attributes of the six main Greek Goddesses: Aphrodite, Artemis, Athena, Demeter, Hera, and Persephone. As I was totaling up my quiz scores, the Goddess Persephone presented herself to me as my ruling Goddess, the one with attributes closest to my own. I read her detailed profile and felt like I was reading the map to my soul.

Persephone is the Goddess of the underworld, meaning “subconscious.” She is able to float between the conscious and subconscious. She is very metaphysically inclined, yet she is sensitively aware of what is occurring in every conscious moment. This ability allows Persephone to see through people immediately, but with that also comes her desire to be a people-pleaser. She is also the “eternal girl,” ever youthful, compliant, and passive. I could definitely identify with all of these traits. I was Persephone in all her mystic, metaphysical glory--and in all her not so glorious ways as well.

I came to find out that every Goddess has a correlating emotional wound that offsets her magnificence. I had to admit that recently, I had been embodying more of the wounded traits of Persephone, like, low self worth and lack of commitment. Persephone is a very powerful Goddess in her own right, but she is known more as an immature, passive, little-girl goddess, rather than a strong-minded go-getter. Hera, Athena, and Artemis are the Goddesses known for their strength, independence and achievements. All qualities that I hoped to aspire to.

These three Warrior-Goddesses are all primarily interested in their status in society, their careers, and their autonomy. Hera, Queen of Heaven, represents marriage and partnerships. She is very involved in wanting power and status. This is not to the exclusion of emotional ties or love interests, but she considers her position as “Queen” when she enters into a partnership in business or with a man. The popular comedic phrase, “She who must be obeyed,” most likely originated from someone’s encounter with a Hera woman.

Athena is the Goddess of Wisdom. She is logical, self-assured, achievement oriented. She is a woman who has always put her career first, who identifies herself through her job. An Athena woman is most likely to be the president of IBM or become president of the United States for that matter. She is ruled by logic, but this makes her a very fair and judicious person. Athena does value relationships and marriage, but it will be with a person who has a similar standard of living and accepts her as the independent woman she is.

Artemis is the most independent and interdependent Goddess of them all. She is the Goddess of the Wild. She is very athletic, being a master archer, and extremely adventurous. In Greek mythology, Artemis lived in the woods and could rival any man with the prowess of her bow and arrow. She is known for her autonomy, meaning she was completely balanced in her male and female energies. She was at home within herself and her natural surroundings. The need for a union with man was not necessarily present. This does not mean she didn’t eventually enter into a love relationship. She does; however, it is only with a man who can out run her and whose aim with a bow and arrow is better than hers.

After learning about these empowered Goddesses, it became clear to me that I needed to access some of their attributes. At that time of my life, Aphrodite was my second Goddess in command and Demeter was third. Aphrodite is known for skills in relationships. She is also known as the alchemical goddess. She is magnetic, creative and possessed the gift of persuasive speech. I had been known to hold my own when it came to “the gift of gab.” Of course, there was the obvious attributes of the Goddess of Love, Passion, and Beauty that appealed to me as well. I was particularly intrigued by the “golden fleece” surrounding her, which carried transformative powers. It was rumored that any person who encountered Aphrodite’s golden aura was forever changed.

Demeter, the Mother of all Goddesses was and continues to be a Goddess that has influenced my life greatly. Demeter’s main concerns are caring for children and bearing children. She is a nurturing, care giving, devoted woman-goddess. She is the quintessential earth mother; Gaia incarnate. Demeter’s primary joy in life is to bear and raise children. She is ruled by her deep compassion and love, rather than her independence. My three ruling Goddesses, Persephone, Aphrodite, and Demeter had many wonderful attributes that I identified with, but I needed to strengthen my inner-self with the independent, self-assured, success oriented attributes of Athena and Artemis.

Discovering the Goddesses within me was a moment of authentic empowerment. I could not recall a previous time in my life when I had felt so confident and self-assured. Up until that point in time, I realized that I had primarily identified my self through my emotional connections to other people. I had always viewed myself as someone’s girlfriend, wife, daughter, mother, or business associate. Essentially, these relationships were the foundation of my self worth. Identifying with the attributes of the Goddesses offered me a new perspective on my self that I had never considered before.

It was definitely a scary and sad time for me coming out of a divorce, but it was also an amazing, exciting period of self-growth. It felt awkward having to consider my-SELF first. I had been so conditioned to think about my husband and children’s needs before mine. I needed to figure out how I was going to get from a married woman's mind-set to that of an independent single woman. It was liberating and terrifying at the same time to be imbued with such powerful Goddess energy. I thought about the goddess Athena with her attributes of wisdom, practicality, and strength. What could I do to bring forth my own wisdom, practical nature, and inner-strength? What inherent attributes in me were going to help me get through this difficult transition? What was going to sustain me? I knew I was a multi-dimensional person with a loving soul, but I had never taken the time to understand what made me that way.

I decided then that I would make a series of "wish lists." First, I wrote down everything I knew I was good at or would like to be good at. I knew that I was good at writing, talking, and teaching. From there it was a natural leap to imagine myself being a workshop leader, hence the inception of my Goddess Workshops. I also wrote down qualities I was certain about like, loyal friend, caring mother, open-minded, and fun! To further explore the creases and crevices of my soul, I made a list of all the things I liked to do. In that list, I put down everything from raising orchids and playing the piano, to reading metaphysical literature and writing poetry.

In another list, I wrote down every activity or subject matter I had an interest in learning about, but had never pursued. Kayaking, French films, and meditation were just a few. I literally felt Aphrodite’s creative spirit flowing through me as I wrote out my long lists. No admission was too small or too large. The only requirement for my lists was that every single item had to be something that would lead me to true self-discovery, healing, and pure enjoyment. In essence, I was excavating my soul.

With the focus, independence, and determination of Artemis, I made a vow to experience everything on my list. I wanted to check it all out and see what stuck. In that way I would know what was really brewing deep inside me. So, for two years I systematically went through and completed everything on my lists. I bought orchids, started playing the piano again, and learned to kayak. I rented French Films and studied them. I reconnected with the creative writer in me and started writing a screenplay.

With each experience, I gained more self-confidence and felt a sense of pride, fulfillment, and accomplishment. I learned what nourished my spirit and specifically what fed my soul. Now, not only did I have a growing resume of personal interests, but also I had created a foundation of self-worth that I could count on to sustain me.

During my soul excavation process, I continued studying other reputable books on Goddess Psychology, but my focus was learning how my ruling Goddesses expressed their powers in my life. As I read the intricate psychological profiles of each of the Goddesses, I began to see myself through “Goddess eyes.” It was then that I made a vow to incorporate the strengths of my ancient Greek sisters into my life.

I quickly realized that as women we could absolutely embrace all the attributes that have historically been associated with men. Yet we could use them in a decidedly female way. I realized that we had our own power; a feminine power, within us that has been underutilized and unappreciated by the masculine hierarchy of our society. In that moment, I knew I would one day share my insights with other women. I needed to let women know that they were not stuck. That they did have choices. That they had the power within themselves to change any situation no matter what the obstacles. With the inherent strengths of the Goddesses, women could learn to view themselves as powerful conductors for change.

What a revelation in such a puritanical patriarchal society (translation: an uptight, prudish, society dominated by the limited resources of the male ego). Certainly, male egos, with their pioneering spirit of “doing” and linear thinking have had their place in this world. Our country was founded with this adventurous force of energy. The sheer physicality and persevering mentality of men has done much to advance our society and earned their place of honor. However, our world has shifted its planetary needs.

The outmoded theory that we have to fight for our survival is simply not true today.

In our mainstream society, we no longer have to hunt, gather, defend, or battle for our right to live. It is only within the divine masculine, which incorporates a loving heart balanced with an integrity-oriented ego, that men will truly serve the higher evolutionary purposes of humanity. We have outgrown the “flight” or “fight” tendencies of our reptilian brains. In short, we have evolved. The time has come in our evolution to herald in the strong, loving, nurturing, peaceful, family and community oriented values of the Divine Feminine.

Goddess psychology seeks to bring out the Divine Feminine in each woman by associating her with the attributes of the Goddesses. The Divine Feminine is essentially, love in action. However, the feminine energy of The Divine is also a warrior. She is a softer, more nourishing being, of course, with an amazing passion for transformation. And not just personal transformation, but transformation on a global level.

The Integrated Goddess

My Goddess journey started the day I took that life-changing quiz, but it took a year or so of practicing and developing my new independent skills before I got up the courage to start sharing my accumulated knowledge with the public. I put together a fun, interactive workshop and entitled it Goddesses On The Go. The focus of the workshop was to raise awareness about Goddess psychology and give women the opportunity to see their true place of value in this world. I had the women in my workshop take the same quiz. We all had fun discussing results and learning more about our ruling Goddesses. Using the personality profiles of the ancient Greek Goddesses provided a means for these women and myself to understand themselves, their relationships, and what motivates, frustrates, and satisfies them.

After presenting my first few workshops, I began to see that finding the Goddess within you was not enough for creating inner-balance. The real call for balance in this world comes through integrating the Divine Feminine with the Divine Masculine. When this occurs, these integrated energies emanate exponentially to heal the collective conscious. In turn, this raises the spiritual vibration of the planet. In the Osho Zen philosophies, the combining force of our male and female energies is called the Unio Mystica, or the fusion of opposites. “We are the union of eagle and swan: male and female, fire and water, life and death. Integration is the symbol of self-creation, new life, and mystical union; otherwise known as alchemy.”

So how do we honor the Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine to achieve the Unio Mystica within each of us? Basically, women need to connect with their healthy male and men need to connect with their healthy female. Most men have denied acknowledging a feminine side for centuries. Women are aware of their masculine side, but have misinterpreted it to mean, “act like a man.”

To access the male/ female energies within us is not to become like the opposite sex, but to embrace those qualities that can balance our true character. Within each of us is the seed of the other. Women need to water the seed and grow their masculine energy. Men need to first notice that they carry a seed of feminine energy that is healthy and desirable and then allow it to grow within them.

Acknowledging the Divine Feminine

Both women and men need to embrace the divine feminine within. For women, we need to honor our intuitive nature, our loving souls, and our beautiful bodies. We need to get to know what are deepest desires are and then we need to hold fast to our values and belief systems. Setting healthy boundaries as to who, what, when, and where we allow certain situations and people into our life is very important. A true Goddess knows herself and operates from the integrity of her soul. She will not allow anything or anyone to disrupt that inner-balance and makes life decisions based on her internal knowing. A true Goddess knows how to ask for what she needs, wants, and deserves while remaining grounded in her femininity.

For men the idea of connecting with their inner-female has been threatening, because it involves emotions, that indefinable “feeling” state that baffles most men. If men only knew that for a little effort in getting to know their inner-female it would bring them many rewards. Because within the merger of male and female comes clarity, peace, and calm. The integration allows one to speak more freely from one’s heart. Matters of the heart, however, have traditionally been a source of major confusion and fear for most men. It is one of the areas of human development that they have not been able to control or define with their logic-based left brain.

Accessing a male’s inner-female does not mean he has to cry, talk in-depth about his feelings, or give birth to a child! It simply means that he agrees to allow his ego to rest long enough to pay due respect to the loving, nurturing, intuitive side of his being. The side that somehow knows and trusts what the right thing to do is. Being in tune with his feminine side, means that even if he doesn’t understand the apparently murky waters of emotions, he learns to trust the wisdom that resides in them. It is the acceptance and allowing that is most difficult for men. Honoring their feminine side means, “honoring” it, not living solely from it.

Embracing the Divine Masculine

The force of the Divine Masculine within men and women is the force of absolute clarity, absolute law, absolute strength, and absolute peace. Most men are not accustomed to accessing their inner-divinity, but essentially, they can learn to use it the same way a woman learns to use her divine

masculine energy. When a woman is integrated in this way, she is clear about what she wants in life and chooses to operate from her inner-strength and wisdom in getting it. She has a healthy ego that supports her self worth and she never feels threatened by anyone or anything. She knows she is valuable simply because she is alive.

It doesn’t matter whether a woman’s goals are to become the head of a corporation, a yoga teacher, a truck driver, a supportive friend, or a devoted mother. The truth is that women can accomplish any goal in life they want and still remain grounded in their femininity. In addition, for men, they can remain grounded in their masculinity, while still accessing the divine feminine when necessary.

When a woman embraces her Divine Masculine, she understands that she has the ability to be decisive, direct, and linear in her goal setting objectives. She can exhibit strong minded, energetic opinions about what she is doing and how she is going to do it. At the same time, she can balance that male energy and reconnect with her female energy by taking an hour out of her workday to counsel and comfort a friend in need. She can decide that she will only work half days on Fridays because she needs that extra time to tend to her garden and play with her children. Or she can just skip a day of work all together and enjoy an afternoon movie by herself.

You will recognize a female who has integrated her Divine Masculine because she will be the one attracting success, people, and love to her. People are entranced by her golden aura like the unmistakable allure of Aphrodite. There is something magical and intoxicating about a woman so balanced and assured of her place in the universe. She is truly a living Goddess.

The modern Goddess is an emblem of wisdom, creativity, and individual evolution. Her divine nurturing energy is alive, ever changing, and the perfect counterpoint to the energy of the divine male. With it, we satisfy the need for strong female role models and expressions of female prowess to help us tap into our own feminine energy. I urge all women to recapture the potent energy embodied by their own divinity and to experience first hand a greater personal fulfillment by discovering the Goddess within.

Denice Ann Evans